Five Lessons From The Older Brother
Proverbs 26:12 Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
The older brother of the prodigal or lost son was on the outside an upstanding, respectful and obedient man. He stayed at home with the father and tended the farm as any man of that time should do before he married. In his heart he was angry and unforgiving as well as bitter toward both his father and his younger brother. In this short post we will take a look at five lessons we can learn as a take away from this side of the story.
Let’s begin where Jesus would; the man’s heart. The older brother from Luke 15: 11-32 (can be read in full on this post, What is a prodigal?) refused to join in the feast of celebration for the return of his younger brother. This showed that his heart was not filled with love, since 1 Corinthians 13, known as the love chapter says: (vs 5 love,) {love} does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Jesus said that the greatest commandment was Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-33. So, bearing this in mind, we can see that the older brother did not love his brother in this way.
He was so angry that his brother had wasted all of his inheritance on ‘prostitutes and wild living’ assuming only the worst since it was apparent no one had heard from him in ‘these many years’ he said. His father begged him to come to the celebration but to no avail. The younger brother did not miss out on the joy or love of his father but because of the deep anger of his heart the older brother missed out completely.
The first lesson is this, when we do not love we willingly choose to miss out on the celebration taking place in Heaven when one sinner that was lost comes home.( Luke 15:10 can be read for reference.) Love should be the basis of our Christian faith.
The second lesson goes hand in hand with the first in that forgiveness is a choice, and a most important one at that. Many people today are like the older son. Many people go through life following all the rules and yet do not forgive anyone for hurting them or doing stupid things in life. These people hold deep resentment in their hearts and yet go to church and read the Bible and claim Jesus as their savior. Jesus very clearly said in Matthew 6:15 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Forgiveness is a command and not a choice for a Christian.
Who needs forgiveness? Everyone! We need to be forgiven and in turn we are required to forgive others. Pride is what keeps us in the prison of unforgiveness. Proverbs 16:18 a states that pride goes before destruction {or a fall, depending on the translation}. No one wants to believe that they are heading willingly toward destruction, but we also do not want to be held accountable to the need for repentance when we see ourselves as righteous or good. Psalm 143:2b says …for no one living is righteous before you. That was penned by King David the man after God’s own heart, and Proverbs was told to us by his son, Solomon, the wisest man to ever live.
Lesson two clearly means that we all need to forgive in order for the Father in Heaven to forgive us. Leave behind the pride that causes us to fall and repent with all that is inside us and forgive those who have done us wrong.
Lesson three is about repentance. What is repentance and why is it necessary? According to the Mirriam- Webster’s Dictionary to turn from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one’s life: to feel regret or contrition: to change one’s mind.
Just like the younger brother in this parable the older brother did not fully recognize the meaning or the importance of true repentance. The younger son believed an “I’m sorry” was adequate. But, the older would not accept that his brother was indeed repentant. He felt more action should be required and that he himself had no need of repenting. Sadly, both men were wrong. Repentance is not a simple “I’m sorry” it is a full change of heart and direction in life. It is a twin to forgiveness.
While practicing the ‘I have sinned’ speech, the younger boy only thought of himself and the need he had for food, warm clothes and a bed to lay in. He had no idea what it would feel like to be forgiven fully. There had been no teaching in the Jewish faith at that time that allowed for a son to return to his family as a son after doing all the things he had done.
The older brother also felt that it should be impossible to accept him back at all. He protested to the father and even accused him of unfairness in his treatment. He was angry with him even though his father reminded him that everything the father had was always his. He could have a party at any time. He could splurge a little here and there and continue to be very wealthy.
The anger and bitterness was the reason he needed repentance. It was clear at the end that while he was obedient, he was not loving and he was filled with resentment. There are many times that we need to check our thoughts and actions in order to determine our need for repentance.
Isaiah 53:6 says: We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. The reason that Jesus came to the earth in human form was to take on our sin and to pay the price of death for all of us. He willingly did this and all we need to do is to repent for sin and allow Him to change our ways. True repentance.
Lesson four: The older brother assumed. We have all heard the saying that if you assume it makes an ass of u and me- ass-u-me. The older brother had not been in contact with his younger brother and yet as we read moments ago, he claimed that he had wasted all the inheritance on wild living and prostitutes. This was never denied or confirmed. We assume that it is true because of the words of the older brother. What if, I will take a great leap here for a moment, but, what if the brother had gone out into the world and tried to start businesses with the Gentiles? What if those businesses had failed? What if, again I am stretching, he had married a young woman that had given him children and then she gave money to her family and threw elaborate parties, and purchased expensive clothes and housewares? Those are all possibilities, right?
We do not know without a doubt that he squandered the inheritance he demanded of his father. This assumption caused his brother to hate him. And possibly be a tiny bit jealous of the supposed life he had lead. He had travelled and didn’t bother reading Torah or attend synagogue, or obey any rules. He probably ate the finest foods, maybe even pork! He probably “hooked up” with a bunch of women!
These assumptions consumed him and led to deep darkness in his heart and mind. The younger brother was inside at a party and he was outside fuming. It all began with his thoughts and this led to actions of hatred, bitterness, unforgiveness, sin.
Lesson five leads us to another book in the Old Testament: Jonah. He hated the Ninevites because of how severely they had treated his people. When he was told by God to go to them and prophecy (tell them about their future) to them of the destruction that would come soon if they did not repent, he refused. He told God that he already knew the outcome, God was so forgiving that He would even forgive those people.
He was right, of course, God did forgive them and their destruction was averted. The short book of Jonah is a fascinating book in the Bible and I highly recommend reading it.
The older brother knew the same thing. His brother was one of “those people”. God was so full of mercy and he did not deserve forgiveness. He had become the judge. In Matthew 7:1 Jesus says, “do not judge others or you too will be judged.”
We all find ourselves in this position at some point. Sometimes we live there. We are cringed at just the thought of “those people”. My son, says that they are our Ninevites. We look at their lifestyle of sin and can not see the heart or the calling or the fact that they also were created by a loving and merciful God, Father. And we become their judge.
God never declares His acceptance of the sinful nature of human beings. But, He offered the sacrifice for all people and all sin. His love transcends everything and He continuously reaches down to save us from the deceptive darkness that causes us to feel empty and trapped in those actions. He alone is the judge, since He is sinless, and perfect. He created the law in order that we may understand what is bad, and what is good and even gives us the ‘why’ for them.
P.S. (Plain and Simple) Today, our final lesson has summed up everything. The older brother had assumed the sinful nature of his brother’s lifestyle and began to hate him for it. He did not love him, and therefore held great resentment toward him. He refused to forgive him and prided himself in his lack of need for forgiveness therefore becoming his judge. With all that Jesus taught, this brother did the opposite. If you find yourself in any of these scenarios there are sample prayers here. I love you and God loves you fully.
Resources: Biblegateway.com NIV version, photos from Unsplash.com